Drunkgate - Stargate drinking game

Find some typical Stargate episodes and lots of drinkable stuff. It does not necessarily have to be alcoholic, but it is preferrable. Oh, and the more people taking part of this, the merrier. Consider punishing people by letting them drinking an extra time for not realising when they should have been drinking.

Take one drink anytime:

Jack

Jack says, "Fer cryin' out loud."
Jack cuts off Sam in the middle of her technobabble
Jack mispronounces a technical or alien word
Jack smarts off to someone holding him prisoner or at weapon-point
Jack says "ya think" "campers" "sweet"
Jack gets effected by an alien device/disease
Jack is shot or otherwise hurt
Jack says something flippant to someone of higher rank
Jack gets into a fight with Maybourne or calls him a name
When Jack or another SG member tries to help an alien kid
Jack swears (mild counts)
everytime Jack doesn't get something
jack cracks jokes to alien cultures.
jack mouths off to baal
jack tries to explain earth terms to Teal'c
Every time Jack is being an intolerant, narrowminded idiot towards the Tok'ra, the Russians, or other allies
Jack calls Daniel "Danny-boy."
every time Jack says "I'll handle this."
every time Jack corrects someone's usage of "who" or "whom"
Jack makes a comment about Sam's appearance.

Daniel

Daniel Dies or appears to die
Daniel says "you don't understand"
every time Daniel says, "Hi, please don't do that."
Daniel holds up his finger to make a point.
every time Hammond calls Daniel 'our boy'.
Daniel launches into some long-winded discussion about culture and history.
someone interrupts him while he's doing it.
Daniel tries to rescue someone.
Daniel doesn't wear his glasses.

Jack and Daniel

Jack and Daniel get into an argument over civil rights
Daniel and Jack fight

Teal'c

Teal'c says, "Indeed."
Teal'c raises an eyebrow
Teal'c is recognized as a Jaffa and hated for it.
Teal'c smiles. Or maybe doesn't smile would work better?
One sip every time Teal'c offers to willingly sacrifice his life in penance for his past actions (includes life imprisonment)
One sip every time Teal'c says, "I am not injured." (or variation thereof
One sip every time Junior pokes his head out.

Sam

Sam says "Holy Hanna"
says "I have a theory"
for each of Carter's off duty sweaters.
every time Sam uses techno-babble.
Another sip if someone cuts her off.
every time Sam says "With all due respect, sir."
every time Sam gains a new talent from her time as host to Jolinar
every time Sam speeds up the dialing of the wormhole.

Jacob/Selmak

calls Daniel "Danny" (can be tough to hear, so listen closely)
is on (once per episode only)

Hammond

Whenever General Hammond says something about disobeying a direct order
Every time Hammond uses the Red Phone
If Gen. Hammond's orders are disobeyed
Hammond says, "I'm calling the President" (or variation thereof.)
Hammond says, "Welcome back Sg-1."

Janet

Janet launches into medical babble.
Another sip if someone cuts her off.
Frasier changes her hairstyle.
Janet check's someone's pupils

Martouf/Lantash

he/they are on the show (once per episode only)
For change between host/symbiote
When Lantash says something harsh and Martouf tries to mitigate it
it is clear they are interested in Samantha
when he makes a pass on Samantha (is about to kiss her/suggests she kiss him, entwines his fingers with hers, etc.)
tells her he is 'fond' of her/loves her - both for Martouf and Lantash
he/they speak about Jolinar/her feelings/Samantha

Other Tok'ra

A Tok'ra is shown
host tries to mitigate something the symbiote has said
for no name Tok'ra
for red-shirt of the day Tok'ra
when we get the name of both host and symbiote
when we hear both host and symbiote
for "WE ARE NOT GOA'ULD" (with glowing eyes and flanged voice)
change between host/symbiote

Others

every time someone threatens Maybourne.
every time Vala spins an inuendo
Walters says "incoming wormhole"
Siler is on screen

Others/various

One for every time SG1 saves the world.
Someone makes a Wizard Of Oz reference
Someone makes a Star Trek reference
Someone makes a Star Wars reference
One of the team is the object of someone's lust (once per episode)
Someone/thing splats against the gate's iris
Someone from Earth gets taken over by a Goa'uld or Tok'ra
Someone from Earth (including Teal'c) gets taken over by anything else
One or more of SG1 gets shot (includes zats)
One or more of SG1 "dies"
One or more of SG1 has to help out a child (once per episode) (includes Teal'c's son up to, oh, season seven)
An SGC "redshirt" dies
A jaffa is shown (other than Teal'c)
The Gate Self Destruct mechanism starts and no one can stop it
A team that has never been shown before is about to die
If SG-1 rises from the dead
If a character that was established in the movie is killed off
"This is going straight to my head!
"For crying out loud Daniel you've had one beer. You're a cheaper date then my wife was!"
When anyone names a rank, Mr. Mrs. And Dr. DO count
a zat'nik'tel is fired
the name of the planet is mentioned i.e. P3X-421A
whenever any gate activates
whenever another show/movie gets referenced
whenever an SG team returns under fire
whenever the word "Ancient" is mentioned
whenever a reference to the original movie is used (this includes abydos, but not the characters)
the phrase "Holy Hannah" gets used.
a team-member's body is taken over or otherwise possessed by another entity, including the other members of the team. (includes perfect impersonations, duplications, etc
there is an alien virus.
a member of the team has carnal knowledge of someone from another planet. (That we see on screen or is strongly implied or someone who has just expressed an interest stays in the room with the object of their desire, when the camera changes scene.)
there is a romantic kiss between a team member and a non-team member. (i.e. Daniel and Sha're, Daniel and Shyla, Teal'c and his wife, etc.)
there is a hug between team members.
there are trees.
the gate/iris malfunctions or opens/closes on its own.
someone corrects the spelling of, or pronunciation of Goa'uld.
Area 51 or Area 52 is mentioned.
someone from the team's past (friend, ex, relative) shows up.
Extra sip if that person dies.
an entire SG team gets wiped out.
the majority of a population gets killed.
the team has to impersonate deities. (this includes if they are recognized as such but choose not to)
they begin the base self-destruct.
a new Goa'uld gets introduced or an old god turns out to be an alien.
the base gets invaded.
a member of the team gets cloned.
a new race of aliens can speak perfect english upon first speaking with a SG team.
the word "hinky" gets used.

2 drinks whenever:

Jack

Jack calls Sam "Sam."
Two sips if he corrects someone else's grammer in another way than someone's usage of "who" or "whom" (e.g. "you ended that sentence with a preposition!")

Daniel

Daniel receives a "fatal" injury. (Whether or not he ascends or finds a sarcophagus)
Sam (an astrophysicist) or Daniel (an archaeologist) end up on a stake out or a "dynamic entry", guns drawn, here on Earth
Daniel sneezes in season two, one for season one.

Teal'c

Teal'c kisses someone

Sam

refers to Jack by his first name
Sam (an astrophysicist) or Daniel (an archaeologist) end up on a stake out or a "dynamic entry", guns drawn, here on Earth
Sam is 'the black widow'
Sam kisses/is about to kiss an alien

Hammond

Hammond goes offworld

Others

If Apophis dies (again)
If Maybourne is shown
Hathor kisses someone
we hear Janet’s first name used.
we see Catherine, Feretti, or Kawalsky.

Various

SGC personnel lose control of Prometheus
Every time someone ascends or changes into that bright-white-ribbon ascended form
A SG-1 member is killed (unless it is Daniel)
A SG-1 member is kidnapped
If someone's conciousness goes into someone else (robots included)
A SG member falls in love with/is in love with an alien.
An alien falls in love with/is clearly in love with a member of SG-1.
If a SG team lets a dangerous being loose in the universe.
If there is yet another new Gou'ld system lord trying to take over Earth
if anyone from the President's staff is shown
A staff weapon is fired (anytime in the first 3 seasons, only take one sip per occurrence, and one sip per firefight)
you see a Goa'uld eye flash
you see the replicators (up to three times per episode)
you see a system lord
drink again if he/she is really an undercover Tok'ra
you see a member of SG-1 off base in normal clothes
another team goes through the gate
you see an Asgard
you see fancy dress uniform
SG-1 eats in the commissary
someone other than Jack says, "For crying out loud."
they make an allusion to MacGyver.
they make an allusion to Showtime.
we see them watching television.
we see a team member's home.
they leave the base (on Earth).
two or more of the main cast is drinking together.
we see them eating.
we see them sleeping.
we see someone eating
we see someone sleeping
they mention a mission that we didn't see.
another SG team gets over a minute of screen time.
episode starts with "Previously, on Stargate SG-1"...

3 drinks whenever:

Jack

Jack has a flash back about his son
Jack calls Daniel "Jackson".

Teal'c

Teal'c shows his symbiote

Others

when Samuels gets yelled at.

Various

SG-1 gets to ride in a space ship
SG-1 blows up a space ship
If you can tell that the current set was used in a previous episode (this one works well with season one episodes)
SG-1 time travels
A character actor is on that was in an X-Files Episode (Don Davis doesn't count* Maybourne counts and the spinless little Agent Spinder counts!)
Someone gets promoted
You see a Tok'ra glow his/her eyes
every time they can't.
team members share a romantic kiss (willing or not).

Finish off the bottle when:

SG-1 is attired in anything unusual (60's attire, cultural cloths of a planet, etc.)
A Gou'ld is resurrected from death
Whole bottle if anyone calls Jack "Jonathan."

Take a shot (hard liqueur) whenever (these are once each per show, each consecutive time it is one sip):

Kinsey is on
the president is on
a Russian soldier is on
any "real" military official is on
the Tok'ra is on
the first briefing of the show
someone is thrown in the brig, or put in containment (whenever someone new is put in the brig or in containment as well.)
someone retires or resigns
Bra'tac is on