All Right - Chapter 3
Disclaimer in pt. 1
Sam blinked and then blinked again as she looked at her love in confusion. “Huh?” She shook her head and took her hand off his thigh. “I mean, what? What do you mean my idea’s ‘unacceptable’? I thought you’d like it if I came to live with the Tok’ra, I could be with you-“
“It is not that part that I am disagreeing with, beloved; it is the conditions in which you wish to live with the Tok’ra.” Lantash pointed out, moving to clasp her hands, which had grown cold.
Sam’s forehead scrunched up in puzzlement. “My conditions? What, that I want to visit my friends on Earth?”
Lantash shook his head. “No, love, when you suggested living with the Tok’ra, you are asserting that you remain unblended, yes?”
Sam’s hands remained cold even as Lantash held them in his own warm ones. She hesitated before answering, “Well, yes, I mean, even though I know the difference, I have to admit that being blended is still a bit uncomfortable with me.”
“I understand, dearest heart, but whereas you would not consider it back when we first met, would you at least think it over now?”
(Lantash! What are you doing?!) Martouf fumed silently.
<What is necessary, Martouf, this is an issue that MUST be dealt with and you know this.>
“Ah, well,” Sam shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I don’t really think I would, I’m sorry, Lantash, but that’s how I feel. I don’t mean to offend you; it’s just that…you know.” She finished lamely.
“I am sorry as well, Samantha. It is this reason that I find that what you propose unacceptable-“
Sam pulled her hands from Lantash’s grasp and stood up. “What? Because I won’t allow myself to be blended?”
Lantash shook his head. “It is not quite that simple, Samantha. If you came to live with the Tok’ra remaining as you are, then I am afraid that you would not be much of a help. I am sorry if this offends you and neither Martouf nor I wish to hurt you, but what I say is true. While you would be most welcome amongst the Tok’ra, without being blended, you would not possess the knowledge needed and used constantly by the Tok’ra and although your presence is comforting, you would not be much help on most Tok’ra missions as you would not possess a symbiote necessary to fool people for infiltration missions nor would you possess the healing powers and endurance of a symbiote needed if you should find yourself hurt or pursued.”
Sam flushed as she watched the love of her life calmly pointed out the reasons he did not want her around with him. She crossed her arms angrily. “I’ve been hurt, pursued, and done covert missions on Goa’uld spaceships before and I’ve always managed to get back.”
“I cannot afford to take that chance, Samantha. I will not allow it. Martouf and I could not bear it if something happened to you that perhaps maybe having a symbiote would have prevented such as a Goa’uld infestation.” Lantash said firmly, moving to stand in front of Sam, mindless of his undressed state.
“You won’t allow it? I am a grown woman, Lantash; I can make my own decisions!” Sam exclaimed, her eyes flashing.
“You must understand, Samantha that I am not saying this because I do not think you cannot make your own decisions. I am saying this to you because it is true. Please say you understand.” Lantash began to plead while being mentally berated by Martouf for making their mate angry.
Sam lowered her head and sighed quietly. “I won’t lie to you and say I understand all of what you’re saying…” She whispered head still bowed.
“My love, my heart,” Lantash went to comfort her, but stopped when she took a step back. His outstretched arms fell limply to his side. A thought crossed his mind.
(Don’t you EVEN dare, Lantash!) Martouf roared inside their mind as he caught Lantash’s thought.
He continued softly, “Have you given the thought of what would happen to us if you remain unblended?” Lantash received no answer. “Both Martouf and I love you, Samantha, with every inch of our being. You consume us; our every thought is of you. Night and day, we long to hold you in our arms and tell you we love you. The only thing that we need to make us happy is you, to stare into your blue eyes and know with certainty that you are ours and ours alone. To see you smile could lift our hearts from the deepest depression and to hear you laugh is considered a miracle and one we would never grow tired of hearing. Coming here knowing that soon we would be in your presence, enveloped in your warmth lifted our hearts. The chance to spend a life with you, touching you, kissing you, making endless hours of love with you is to us, a perfect paradise. We love you Samantha with everything we have; we could face anything knowing that you are right by our side or waiting for us. Knowing that you love us has made us incredibly happy and honored that such a beautiful creature, both inside and out, has chosen us to love and spend your life with. We have pledged our love and life to you and you with us. You fill our hearts with joy and we cannot describe how you make us feel so incredibly glad that you came into our lives.
“Having said that still falls short of what we feel for you and that is another reason why it hurts us to say that while Martouf and I will feel for you for an eternity, you will return these feelings until you are gone. Being unblended means that you will live out your life with a human lifespan and we are far too selfish to live without you, Samantha.”
Lantash waited for a response and seconds later, he heard a sniffle. Lantash and Martouf felt their heart break as they gazed into her teary eyes. He made a move to take her in his arms when she stopped him coming closer with her hand and a shake of her head. He made a sound of protest when she moved to pick up her underwear and pants to put them on. She futilely tried to wipe her tears away as she tucked in her shirt.
Lantash tried to grab Samantha’s arm when she went to pick up her jacket and shoes.
“Don’t touch me!” She yelled hysterically, throwing his arms off. She bent to put on her socks, but before she could touch her boots, Lantash took them away. “Give me back my boots, Lantash.”
He shook his head. “Not until you talk to us, Samantha.”
Samantha stood up and walked toward him. “It looks as if you’ve talked enough for the both of us and there’s nothing else to say. You’ve made it clear how you want things to be between us. For God’s sake, Lantash, you say you love me, but that because I won’t be blended, I can’t be with you.” Sam snatched her boots from Lantash’s grip, stepped back and took a deep breath.
Sam walked to the door, halting as Lantash stepped up to her and put out his hands to stop her from the door. “Samantha…”
“Please, Lantash…” Lantash and Martouf’s heart collapsed as he heard her whisper brokenly and she looked at him with unending tears pouring down her cheeks, but what broke his heart was the look of utter despair in his love’s eyes. “I love you, both you and Martouf… so much, but there’s nothing more to say. I have to go….the mission briefing is soon.” Sam reached a hand up as if to touch Lantash’s face, but withdrew it to unlock the door and turn the knob. Lantash stepped back into the room as he was reminded of his nakedness. Sam turned to look at him. “There’s nothing more to say.”
Lantash watched as his beloved Samantha closed the door behind her, leaving him alone in the dim light in an empty room, but Lantash and Martouf didn’t notice, too concerned with the emptiness inside them as they had watched their heart leave.