Past Memories – Chapter 9B
Disclaimer in part 1
“Love, what is the significance of a ‘bright light’?” Martouf lifted his head from nuzzling Sam’s neck as he held her in his arms in their quarters to ask her.
Sam chuckled. “It’s an Earth and religion thing, Martouf.”
“Mmm.” Martouf planted kisses into Sam’s blonde hair as he squeezed her tighter close to his chest. “I must go back with you to Earth, so that you can teach me about the Tau’ri and your culture, love.”
Sam pressed herself against Martouf’s broad chest. “But why teach you boring stuff like that when I could teach you other fun stuff.” She turned around in his embrace to wink suggestively at him.
Martouf’s eyebrow lifted and the side of his mouth quirked upwards. “Other stuff?” He brought his mouth close to hers and whispered, “Such as what, love?”
Sam kissed Martouf gently before pulling back to look at him with utter wickedness in her eyes. “I really must introduce you to handcuffs, Martouf.”
As she expected, Martouf only looked at her in confusion and she replied, “You’ll like them don’t worry.”
Martouf’s confusion vanished as he kissed her softly on the lips again. “I’m sure I will, beloved. And there is much I would like to teach you as well.”
“I can’t wait. I really can’t. I’m just imagining what it would be like to wake up next to you in my bed with the sun shining through the window.” Unnoticed, Sam prattled on as Martouf’s smile left his face and he stared at her with a contemplative look in his eyes.
Sam smiled softly and continued on. “There’s just so much I want to show you. I’d love to cook for you, but I only know how to cook simple stuff and I want to take you to a movie. But that’s not to say that I don’t want to learn more about the Tok’ra and you because I do. I want to know your favorite things to do when you have spare time, your favorite foods, the planets you’ve visited and the people you’ve known. I want to know all about you. I mean, it’s only fair, I can only guess what my father may have let slip about me, right?”
Sam’s smile dimmed a little when Martouf didn’t say anything, but merely kept watching her with an inscrutable look on his face.
She raised her eyebrows in question. “Martouf? Darling, what’s wrong?” She raised a hand gently to touch his cheek.
Martouf closed his eyes as her hand touched his face and his grip on her tightened before letting her go and turning to walk over to a table where a bunch of decorative art (at least that’s what it looked like to Sam) and he turned to face her holding a small wooden box in his hands.
Sam’s brow furrowed and she gazed quizzically at her lover. “What’s that?”
Martouf stepped toward her, his face serious. “My love,” He looked down at the box in his hand and Sam could see him swallow hard. He raised his head to look at her. “Even though the growth in our relationship is new, both Lantash and I feel as if we have been destined to love you for eternity. We can say with the utmost certainty that our love for you will never fade and as a gesture of our love for you, sweet Samantha, we –that is, Lantash and I- we…we,” Martouf broke off again to nervously glance into Sam’s eyes and then with hands that trembled slightly, he opened the box to reveal one of the most beautiful rings that Sam had ever seen. It was both gold and silver twined together in a weaving pattern. A single large white crystal adorned the top. It was extraordinary.
Sam’s eyes widened as she continued to look at the ring that was cushioned on a blue velvet material in the wooden box that Martouf was holding. She was almost speechless that she didn’t even notice that Martouf had taken one of his hands away from the box and was using it to lift her chin.
Sam raised her eyes to gaze at the man who held her heart. “That’s such a beautiful ring, Martouf!”
Martouf’s grey eyes held such love in them and he smiled tenderly at her. “It is a beautiful ring and Lantash and I are hoping that perhaps you’d like to wear it for us.”
Martouf took the ring from the box and held it up between them. “This ring is very special in my culture, before I became Tok’ra. By giving this ring to another, I pledge my life, my loyalty, and my love to that other person for eternity. This ring would bind us together as friends, as lovers, and…as true mates. Jacob once told me about similar traditions on your world, Samantha; he called it…marriage?
Though Lantash and I did not fully understand what Jacob said to us moments ago, we understand that he does not wish us to have what you would call a ‘casual relationship’.”
Martouf held up a hand as Sam opened her mouth to interrupt him. “There is something I feel I must tell you. As you know, Jolinar was my mate and long time ago, I once contemplated giving her this ring, but I was uncertain. Even though we were mates, I felt that I should wait. But then, Jolinar never returned…” Martouf stopped momentarily to swallow hard, reliving the memories of being told that Jolinar was dead. He took a deep breath and looked into his love’s eyes, smiling at the apparent concern and worry he saw in her blue depths.
“After years of waiting in anguish, both Lantash and I had decided to accept the fact that it was entirely possible that Jolinar had died, especially since she took such risky missions. It was only a matter of time and after awhile, I learned to cherish the memories of what I had with Jolinar and placed them in the back of my head. I moved on.
But then you and the rest of SG-1 came…and everything came rushing back to me. With no physical reminders of Jolinar, it was simple to continue living without thinking about her every single moment. But you…when you told me what happened, yes, I felt pain at having my suspicions confirmed about Jolinar, but I also felt relieved at knowing that Jolinar was not out there somewhere missing, injured, or held captive. That she was trying to get back to the Tok’ra still and that although she’s gone, at least we know now that she died rather than her dying somewhere and the Tok’ra never knowing at all.
“And when I think about you now, I am grateful to her. Not only did she give me some of the best centuries of both mine and Lantash’s lives, she in a way, brought you to me. I thought after Jolinar, I would never feel love again, that one could only experience it once in their entire lifetime, but I was wrong. Over the years, that we have known each other, Samantha, I know with certainty that I love you. Very much. That my heart belongs to you.
“You make me feel, “ Martouf stopped for a second before continuing, “You make both Lantash and I feel things we thought we would never feel again. Nervousness, anticipation, excitement, loss at being away from you, joy, happiness.
I told you a short while ago that Lantash and I had hoped that you would be agreeable to becoming bonded with us and being our mate…” Martouf ducked his head nervously. “What we would like to say is…Samantha…would you wear this ring for me? It is a symbol of my love for you and by wearing it; I hope that you are saying you wish to become both mine and Lantash’s mate.”
Martouf rushed on as tears formed in Sam’s eyes. “I will love you forever, cherish you, and be faithful to you for as long as I live. Be there for you in times of need, hold you and love you. Please say that you’ll accept this ring?” His eyes held hers in silent longing.
Sam let loose a small sob before her face lit up in a wobbly smile. “Oh Martouf, I love you.” She caressed the side of Martouf’s face. “And so I say yes.”
Martouf smiled broadly and gently lifted Sam’s left hand. He slowly, reverently slid the ring onto Sam’s ring finger and then raised her hand to place a small kiss on it.
He stared into her eyes. “With this ring, think of me and I’ll always be with you, love.”
P.S. About the whole Jolinar thing, I’m not trying to belittle the whole Martouf/Jolinar relationship! I watched that ep. (Tok’ra pts. 1 & 2) over again and I can’t but notice that from the beginning that Martouf seemed all business and though yes, he did show some minimal grief at hearing about Jolinar, it seemed as though he had already placed his fond memories of Jolinar inside his heart and head where he could look back and smile, but no longer feel any hurt or pain about her. When he asked Sam about what happened to Jolinar, first in the tunnels and then in the desert, I put it down to plain curiosity and putting the final pieces of what happened to Jolinar to rest on Martouf’s part.