Martouf/Lantash had returned home to their own reality after accidentally having visited another for several days.
After having joined SG-1, they lived on Earth most of the time. At first, they had asked for a position as Tok'ra liaison to the Tau'ri and then they had eventually joined SG-1. This had all been because they wanted to be closer to Samantha. They had started a relationship with her, and found that living on another world than she did, was unacceptable.
Then, after a couple years, she had ended the relationship. It had been hard at first, being on the same team as her when she was no longer theirs. Despite this they had decided to stay on Earth. Their position was important to the Tau'ri-Tok'ra alliance, and they were important and needed members of SG-1. They also felt it would be too embarrassing to give up and return home after losing the woman they loved to another. Besides, they still held on to the hope that someday, hopefully, Samantha would be theirs again.
Martouf opened the door to their apartment and they went inside, picking up the mail on the way. Neither of them had spoken much after their return. They felt they should be happy - after all, the other reality had given them the cure to the Prior-induced disease. And they were happy...about that at least. Something else weighed heavily on their minds, though.
Opening the door to the freezer compartment, Martouf rummaged through some of the contents. Nothing seemed appealing. *Tandoori-chicken perhaps?...at least I think it's Tandoori-chicken...* he scrutinized the left-overs.
*Yeah...whatever...* Lantash sounded uninterested.
Martouf ignored him and nuked the dish in the microwave, then grabbed a beer on the way to the living room. He threw himself on the couch and looked around for the remote control. Finding it, he turned on the television. Without much enthusiasm he began eating the presumed chicken, which at least was warm, if nothing else. Hopefully, whatever was on the television would keep his - and Lantash's - minds off their dark thoughts.
He slowly zapped through the many stations, not really finding anything of interest. After one pass through, he settled for a movie with some sort of spaceship. He vaguely remembered seeing the film before.
*No. We're not watching 'Alien 2'. Find something else - something that won't give me a nightmare, preferably.*
Martouf sighed. Trust Lantash to be able to remember the title of every one of the - many - movies they had watched since Samantha had left them. He changed to another channel. It seemed to be some sort of talk-show. After a few minutes he continued on.
*There's nothing worth watching...* he zapped a couple of times more, *this is the only other movie I can find...OK?*
*That one is 'Anaconda' - it's even worse. Besides, you know I hate snakes. Reminds me of the time my former host and I fell into some sort of crypt. It was full of vipers...give me the remote.*
Lantash was given control and clicked through a few more channels before he turned off the TV. They ate the rest of their dinner in silence.
Afterwards, they sat quietly for several minutes, then Lantash said what was on both of their minds.
*She still loves us...the other Samantha, I mean. She was forced to kill you...and I died as well in their reality. Even despite the fact that they were never together, she still had feelings for us...them, I mean...years later. If that Kvasir guy hadn't interrupted us, she would have kissed us...I think I hate him...*
*Yes, Lantash. I know. Poor Samantha.*
Lantash 'nodded'. *We are meant to be together, I am certain of it!*
*Then why did she leave us? Lantash...I am beginning to give up. She will not come back to us...more than a year has passed since she left us. We should go back home. I grow weary of this planet, and I very much miss the tunnels and the other Tok'ra.*
*I miss them as well, but I am not ready to give up. I don't know why she left us...she said she still felt that she could never be sure if her emotions were her own or Jolinar's. I am sure many if not most are her own, but I do not understand why it would matter. If they feel like they are yours, then they are yours...be that as it may...I do not truly believe that was the reason.*
*I think you are correct...while she never said so straight out...I suspect she never felt fully certain that we loved her, and not just because she was once host to Jolinar.*
*True. That is a legitimate concern. Yet, we have assured her often enough. While we will always love Jolinar, we love Samantha just as much. If she still did not believe us, then I truly do not know of any way to convince her.*
*And now she has a child with another...*
*Perhaps that was our error. We never discussed it, but she likely believed we would think it too dangerous to have a child. It would have Tok'ra genetic memory and thus the Goa'uld might well try to capture it. If not that, then surely she knew that he or she would certainly grow up with the knowledge - and memory - of countless Goa'uld atrocities. As an adult such a child would no doubt be driven to join the Tok'ra - it would have no free will in that matter, because of the genetic memory. Would we truly want this for a child? Perhaps Samantha was wise to leave us...*
*Lantash! Stop it! Yes, perhaps that too affected her choice. I do not truly think so, but if that was the case we should have talked with her. The child would be no worse off than Tok'ra symbiotes. They too get the genetic memory Egeria gave them. It did not damage you! You grew up and became just fine...if a bit of a cynic from time to time... Yes, it is a hard life, but it is not all bad. Besides, knowing what the Goa'uld did might be a good thing. It is - for better or worse - part of your legacy. At any rate, you are good...you fight for good against evil. The child would be good as well...you would not need to worry about that...*
*Yes, you are right. And the Goa'uld are less of a danger now than ever. I believe, if Samantha were to become ours again, I would very much want a child with her.*
*So would I...Lantash, can we stop talking about this? Losing her hurts too much still.*
Before Lantash could answer, they were interrupted by their cell phone ringing.
*Who is calling at this hour?*
*Answer it - perhaps the Ori has decided to put an end to our misery...*
"Yes? This is Martouf Lantash." Martouf used their combined name, as they had become used to here on Earth.
"Martouf - hi. It's me, Daniel. Listen, we're having a sort of late-night movie-pizza party. You wanna come?"
"Eh...now? It's late...but, I suppose...why not..."
*NO!* Lantash told him, emphatically.
"I mean...it really is late...and Lantash is tired...and to be honest, so am I..."
"You're moping because Sam was there and it reminded you of...eh..." Daniel realized he would only make it worse by talking of Sam leaving Martouf. "I mean, don't sit and be unhappy alone."
"We are not 'moping'...besides, we are not alone. We are never alone. That is one of the advantages of being a Tok'ra...anyway...we really are tired."
"Okay, but remember we're here if you need to talk. Despite what you might say, you are not over her...see you tomorrow. Good night."
*I think I want to get drunk,* Lantash said morosely. He had taken control and was on his way over to the bookcase to get the bottle of whisky on the top shelf.
*Lantash...that's probably a bad idea. We have to get up and go on a mission tomorrow, and you know how hard it is for you to filter it out and treat a hangover, when you yourself have allowed you to become drunk - and thus get a hangover...*
*All right, I won't get us that drunk,* Lantash promised, as he was pouring a glass of the brown liquid. *You know...when I think about it, I do not truly believe she is happy with O'Neill. When the war against the Ori hopefully quiets down a little, we will see if she can become ours again.*
*I agree. For now, however, we should focus on defending this Galaxy against the Ori.*
Having made this decision, they felt better. Perhaps the future would not always be as dark as the present.